Mentally distressed.....

At the moment I am in one of those phases where I am reliving my traumatic experience at that park. I think the trigger was the car accident we had on 12/05/2015. A lady rear ended us and all of my children and dh were in the vehicle. Luckily, I took the bulk of the injury and my kiddos were with milder whiplash. My 11 year old was a nit hurt as she suffered from whiplash the hardest. Mentally they were all shaken up and yea it did push even my 13 year old son into a crying spree. I think we were all pretty banged up mentally and physically. I am just glad that everyone is alive. Alhamdulillah

But, yea I am reliving my experience at that park. I think since justice was never served I just can not feel good about this. I want Allah to help me and make me heal from this. I think that the only way is for those people to apologize and/or reimburse me for my medical bills. Will either of those things happen? Only by a miracle! The way they talked to me by the telephone and the way that they hurt my feelings I do not expect to recover anything. It stings like a bee and cuts like a knife. I do not know where to turn some days. I try to smile but behind it there are many tears.

I just want to feel good for a moment. Not a single day goes by that I do not think about hat event. I hate it because these people are going on with their lives happily. Here I am depressed over this crazy event. I wish my family had never even went to that park! Unfortunately, you can not go back in time and erase the past though. I know that I have been singled out due to being a hijabi/muslimah and it hurts so bad. I wish that people realized that everyone has feelings regardless of their choice of faith. I teach my children to respect all people no matter what their religion or ethnicity is because that is how it should be.

I request anyone who reads this to please take a moment and say a prayer for me and my family. We kind of have not been the same since this event occurred. I think because when the "mama bear" is hurting the entire pack is hurting. The mama needs to be okay in order for balance to be in the cave. LOL I am trying to make light of a horrible situation in order to heal myself. It is not working though. But, you get my point the mother is usually the center of the household and when she is upset then nothing is in order. I am trying to surround myself with positive things and positive people.

Actually, this blog helps me because I can express my feelings and get them out of my mind. It does pop back up later but I am fighting a war within myself to release the thoughts. This is very hard to do and I am struggling with it very much. *Sigh* I really think a walk in the park or a day at the mall would do me some good. At the moment though it is very windy outside and gloomy not really the park weather and as for shopping I do not have anyone to accompany me. I guess I will just sit here and drink a cup pf chocolate milk and daydream. Blah.....

This time last year my besty and me were planning our trip to London and Dubai. I met her in Canada and we went to New York, then London and I went solo to Dubai. I met a friend that I had known for 8 years and it was an amazing experience. Funny thing is I traveled to New York from Canada and I had already been through New York to get to Canada. LOL the officers suspected that I was trouble. I was like what?????? Just because of my scarf, huh? My hijab scares you into thinking I am troublesome plus my very European friend here we seem like trouble.

Wow, I do wish that I could travel again though. traveling is simply my way to chill. I never feel more relaxed than when I am traveling. I am planning a vacation for the Spring. I am hoping that everything goes well with the planning. I really need to take a breather. If I can not get away then things are going to get crazier and very fast! I wish that I could travel right now but that can not happen. I have to remodel the house and prepare it to be sold. That is going to take so much work. There has to be a rainbow somewhere! I am waiting!

One of those days.....

Well, today is one of those days where I am feeling down. Just reflecting on some of the bad things that have happened to me. I wish that I could feel better about the things people do to me but it is hard to move on sometimes. I am strong but everyone has a breaking point. My physical health appears to be declining as a result of my stress. I am trying my best to get through all of this and heal myself from the wounds. It seems to me like I need a larger and more supportive circle of friends and family. It would be more suitable for me to be in an enviroment that was more openminded and accepting of Muslims. I am tired of being mistreated just because I wear a scarf on my head it is very upsetting.

Yesterday at the doctors office (in the waiting room) there were many people who passed evil stares at me. I was very disappointed to know that people judge me just because of a piece of cloth on my head. I also heard some really offensive comments coming out of some of their mouths. I brushed it off as ignorance but it doesn't change the fact it was said. I do not like living in this racist town at all. In fact, I feel this entire state is not for me. I want to pack up and go far far far away and never come back. I just wish that I had the funds to do so. I wish that there was a way for me to go to a better envirmonent to raise my kids in a less racist area.

Maybe Allah will make a way for me in the future. In sha Allah I am just waiting for ther day to get out of here. I would need to sell my house first though in order to relocate. I do want to sell my house in the Spring. Who knows if it will actuall be sold in a reasonable timeframe. If it does sell then it does not necessarily mean that I will be successful in finding a proper home to move into in another area. I guess all I can do is pray and be patient for Allah to assist me in this matter. I am trying to hold and stay strong for my children. In sha Allah there will be a better place for us to live in the near future.

Sometimes bigots do not win the fight.....

About ten years ago I attempted to enroll some Muslim exchange students into Bardstown High School. At the time the principal who was there was not very openminded. He met me and the day I met him he looked at me as though I was a piece of dirt. His first question was, "where do I work"? That meant he had instantly judged me. I will never forget his face and how he looked down at me as though I were nothing but filth. It hurt me to be judged unfairly. I am an educated person and I am not a piece of garbage. In fact, nobody is better than anyone and he treated me as though I were less than him.

Later after browsing the Muslim profiles he decides he dislikes them. Also, he stated that headscarves are not allowed in his school. However, that goes against the policy of the school. Headscarves for religious purpose are allowed. He later wanted to meet again with a coordinator from the exchange student progragm. I overheard him tell her that I had liuttle resources, that he did not like me and that if she finds another family that he will place a kid. That they can work on that together. Means he hated me for my religion and never gave me a chance and he assumed unfairly that I was poor. He also said slanderous things about my family. 

I went ahead and took matters into my own hands. I became an exchange coordinator. I bought over the girl he did not like from Egypt and also an Indonesian. I took then to the school I was an alumni from Nelson County High and they accepted my students. So, at the end of the day I won this battele! I refused to allow him to belittle me. I was also in the paper the same day he wa for homecoming and I was on the dean's list at college. I showed him I was the smart one and I won because I got two students not only the one he said was not a food fit for his school!

To date no justice!

Well, in reference to my issue with that Beech Bend park nothing was ever settled. I contacted Bowling Green Daily News, Courier Journal, Whas 11, and The Kentucky Standard. Nobody responded and nobody seems to care. Can you believe how backwards of a state that Kentucky is? I am so ready to bpack up my bags and get out of this state as soon as I can put my house up for sale. I hate living here where nobody hears my voice and nobody wants to have justice served for people like me. It strikes a chord inside of me and I am very much in dismay.

My friends stated that they tried to comment on their reviews on the facebook page for the park and the Beech Bend staff has disabled their rights to comment on their page. Therefore, they have been blocked from commenting on their page. It seems to me like they have something to hide by not allowing further comments. They do not want the general public to know how dirty that my family has been treated. It saddens me how dirty and unprofessional this particular park management/owners have beem.

Unfortunately, in life we have ups and we have downs. I am trying to deal with this matter by leaving it upon Allah. I request anyone who reads this to please pray for me. May Allah the almighty bring peace to my heart and heal the sickness that makes people treat others so unfairly. May Allah heal this situation for me and finally alleviate my distress and give me justice. I just want to be able to move on past this situation and not be sad about it anymore. I trust that Allah will show me something soon.

I Just Want to Be Treated Fairly

What makes me any different than any other law abiding citizen? Why is it that everyone stares at me when I am in public as if I am some kind of criminal? I just want to be treated like everyone else. I have a family, I pay my taxes, and I follow the rules. Why is it that everyone want to treat me different? I just want the same treatment as my non-covered counterparts. I think it is my right as human being. I want to be treated well and to be honest some people treat animals better than they treat me. All I can do is pray that some day people will understand that underneath the scarf I am still a human being. That we all bleed red and we all have feelings.

That Dreaded Day in September

Sometimes in life we have situations that take place which we carry with us forever. It was two years ago that one of the worst experiences in my life took place. This event is still fresh on my mind and heavy on my heart so I feel it is time to let others know about it. Something that was supposed to be a very exciting family getaway turned into a horrible event. We had no idea that we would face such a horrific even but to our dismay the day slowly turned sour. Our family visited Beech Bend and Splash Lagoon Park in Bowling Green, KY on September 09, 2013. At the time I was eight months pregnant with my fourth child. I figured the walk around the park would be refreshing and give me some exercise. My kids were so excited because going to amusement parks are always something families can participate in different activities together. 

My son and my husband went to ride a roller coaster together while I sat down with the rest of my family to have a snack. Upon getting my snack (french fries) I noticed that gnats were fried on top of them and I got back up to get some fresh ones. When I sat back down onto the picnic table a nice size splinter of wood went into my finger. It was hurting tremendously and my daughter suggested we head to the first aid station. A female (Charlotte Gonzalez, park manager and owner's daughter) was driving a trolley and she stopped to pick us up and carry us to the first aid station. Upon arriving at the first aid station the first thing we noticed was the uncleanliness of the room. Inside the room there was a bed with dirty sheets, medical items which were stored improperly, and an unclean floor. I suddenly was hesitant to take the first aid assistance. We were told by Charlotte to wait for the first aid medic to assist us.

After waiting for 15 minutes for the medic to arrive, Charlotte entered back into the room. She put on a pair or eyeglasses and looked at my hand. She then stated that she would attempt to treat me herself. She goes into a large cabinet and pulls out rubbing alcohol, a piece of gauze, a medicine cup and a razor blade. She then goes into a smaller file size cabinet and pulls out a cloth pouch which contained three pairs of metal tweezers. I believe these tweezers were not the ones which were sterile (clean) and they were in this case because they needed to be cleaned. The reason that I believe this is that in the large cabinet where other medical supplies were kept there were new tweezers. Charlotte handed my daughter (8 years old at the time) a medicine cup filled with rubbing alcohol. I was told by Charlotte to go to the bathroom and wash my hands. Charlotte went off into another area of the first aid station. 

Upon coming back from washing my hands I had a seat and waited for Charlotte. Charlotte entered the room with a pair of tweezers and quickly handed them to my daughter. At the time my daughter had a strange look on her face and I asked her what was the matter, but she was afraid to speak up. I then felt uncomfortable and asked Charlotte are those tweezers and everything here sterile. Charlotte became rude and agitated and stated in a stern voice: “yes, they have been soaked in alcohol”. Charlotte started to cut into my finger to slice down to the end of the splinter. My finger began bleeding slightly and I was in more pain than before. She wiped off the blood that was oozing. She then applied the tweezers into my hand to lift out the splinter, little by little. I suddenly looked down at the tweezers, and to my dismay the inside of the tweezers were filthy with dried and encrusted blood (deep purple). I was astonished and my husband entered into the room. He also saw the blood and we confronted Charlotte that she must have walked into the back room and grabbed a dirty pair of tweezers on purpose to use on me. She then became aggravated and started filling out a yellow sheet of paper which was an accident report form. I signed it as instructed, but was not given a copy of it to keep. She told me that she would turn in the accident report and if anything came up to let her know. She also stated that she would follow up with me, but she never did that either.

Upon returning to my hometown, I immediately contacted my local health department (that following Monday) to find out which blood tests I needed to have performed to rule out infectious diseases from this dirty utensil being used on me. My obstetrician performed an HIV and Hepatitis screening on me as an err of caution. I also followed up with my primary care physician for further testing and again at later dates as suggested (for follow-up testing). For about two weeks I had trouble with this splinter and I kept applying antibiotic ointments and bandages to it. To date I still have a small scar and a small bubble like fluid filled lump in that area (it comes and goes similar to a wart). All of my medical providers were appalled by the negligence of this park and confused why their insurance provider never contacted them to pay for the medical bills. They stated that it was their responsibility since this event could have been easily prevented with the proper sanitary conditions. Medical instruments should be stowed safely and cleaned properly at regular intervals. I contacted a lawyer because the medical bills for the testing needed to be taken care of by the management. My insurance was not covering all of the bills. I contacted Dallas Jones again and he called me back on three-way with Charlotte Gonzalez. 

During the call they admitted and acknowledged the incident, but did not want to compensate me for my trouble nor reimburse me for my medical bills. Dallas had spoken down to me and in the most rudest manner and he was very unhelpful and disrespectful during the entire call. Although he was not present during my incident he opted to side with Charlotte Gonzalez and refused to offer me any kind of apology or assistance. Charlotte even referred to me as "a crazy woman" and both of them were rude to my husband as well. My husband and child had overheard the full conversation. Dallas ended the call and hung up while I was still talking and as he was hanging up, he called me a racially and religiously discriminating name. Dallas had stated prior to hanging up that he would only contact me via a lawyer and that he would work it out with them. However, after my lawyer sent numerous letters him and his daughter still refused to follow up (and only reached out to the lawyers on one occasion). 


Charlotte told my lawyer's assistance “sometimes we can settle cases like this without getting our legal people involved”. Meaning that they did not want to report this case to their insurance company to file a claim, but instead wanted to settle it in private. The normal protocol is to submit a claim with their accidental insurance and then I would be reimbursed for my medical bills. I had all of the information together for the medical payments and had contacted my own insurance company as directed. However, the company (Beech Bend) never followed up with my lawyers. I also sent over five personal letters (even some mediated by my husband) to Beech Bend and they were all signed for through certified mail by Charlotte and/or Dallas; however, both of them never responded to a single letter. My lawyer stated that they were just wasting time and trying to pretend they would respond, but they had no intentions on ever following through with the promises. We also believe that my case was never reported to their accidental insurance company. If this is the case the report that she took in front of me my family and I was hidden or destroyed. 

This is a fine example of bad business practices. Any reputable company would never hide an accident from an insurance company nor neglect a consumer who had an issue. My complaint is valid and the management was at fault for this incident. If my complaint had been invalid I would never have been directed to a lawyer nor would my lawyer had been told that things would be settled without involving their own legal people. It remains obvious that the management did not want anyone to know about this incident. However, they felt I was too small to have any voice or for anyone to listen to me. Later, a friend reached out to them on facebook and stated that it was wrong what they have done to me. The friend was ridiculed about their religious beliefs which only Charlotte and Dallas would be aware of by knowing my religious affiliation. My religious affiliation should not play any role in them treating me fairly as a consumer. There were prejudiced remarks made due to my friend being Muslim and then they were deleted off of facebook. The comments were made by someone from management. I feel that my case was hidden from their insurance company. 

Also, I feel that I have been discriminated against due to my religion and my skin color. I am very upset because Charlotte is at fault for the mental distress and heavy heart I have carried with me for the past two years. Another friend of mine reached out to them on my behalf and received hateful comments from family members and friends of the business owners. The only thing my friends wanted to do was to get a response on my behalf because she was tired of me being upset for so long over this event. However, when I was hopeful at being reimbursed for my medical bills and upsetting event I was told by their family members that I was playing the race card. This never had been an attempt to play the race card, this was simply an attempt to be treated as a human being and valued customer. Sadly, there are many bad reviews for this park on facebook and other websites. Sadly, after reaching out to CAIR, the news channel and newspapers nobody would hear my story. Therefore, I decided to post it to this blog in order to be my own voice.

Being Treated Bad Hurts

It really hurts to be mistreated just because you wear a piece of cloth on your head. This blog will serve as my place on the web to rant about my hijabi misfits. I have any things to share with you. Stay tuned.....