Well, today is one of those days where I am feeling down. Just reflecting on some of the bad things that have happened to me. I wish that I could feel better about the things people do to me but it is hard to move on sometimes. I am strong but everyone has a breaking point. My physical health appears to be declining as a result of my stress. I am trying my best to get through all of this and heal myself from the wounds. It seems to me like I need a larger and more supportive circle of friends and family. It would be more suitable for me to be in an enviroment that was more openminded and accepting of Muslims. I am tired of being mistreated just because I wear a scarf on my head it is very upsetting.
Yesterday at the doctors office (in the waiting room) there were many people who passed evil stares at me. I was very disappointed to know that people judge me just because of a piece of cloth on my head. I also heard some really offensive comments coming out of some of their mouths. I brushed it off as ignorance but it doesn't change the fact it was said. I do not like living in this racist town at all. In fact, I feel this entire state is not for me. I want to pack up and go far far far away and never come back. I just wish that I had the funds to do so. I wish that there was a way for me to go to a better envirmonent to raise my kids in a less racist area.
Maybe Allah will make a way for me in the future. In sha Allah I am just waiting for ther day to get out of here. I would need to sell my house first though in order to relocate. I do want to sell my house in the Spring. Who knows if it will actuall be sold in a reasonable timeframe. If it does sell then it does not necessarily mean that I will be successful in finding a proper home to move into in another area. I guess all I can do is pray and be patient for Allah to assist me in this matter. I am trying to hold and stay strong for my children. In sha Allah there will be a better place for us to live in the near future.
Yesterday at the doctors office (in the waiting room) there were many people who passed evil stares at me. I was very disappointed to know that people judge me just because of a piece of cloth on my head. I also heard some really offensive comments coming out of some of their mouths. I brushed it off as ignorance but it doesn't change the fact it was said. I do not like living in this racist town at all. In fact, I feel this entire state is not for me. I want to pack up and go far far far away and never come back. I just wish that I had the funds to do so. I wish that there was a way for me to go to a better envirmonent to raise my kids in a less racist area.
Maybe Allah will make a way for me in the future. In sha Allah I am just waiting for ther day to get out of here. I would need to sell my house first though in order to relocate. I do want to sell my house in the Spring. Who knows if it will actuall be sold in a reasonable timeframe. If it does sell then it does not necessarily mean that I will be successful in finding a proper home to move into in another area. I guess all I can do is pray and be patient for Allah to assist me in this matter. I am trying to hold and stay strong for my children. In sha Allah there will be a better place for us to live in the near future.
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